The Sexual Body

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One of the most easily remedied sexual problems men have is orgasming sooner than they, or their partners, would like – otherwise known as premature ejaculation. Unfortunately many men still believe this pesky mood killer can’t be avoided, so they let the problem persist and create negative relational and emotional consequences that are completely unnecessary.

Some of the more common causes for premature ejaculation include sudden and intense sexual arousal, not having sex for long periods of time, or being blessed with an incredibly sensitive penis (usually the head).

One S.S. reader was particularly concerned with his ultra-sensitivity, and asked:

What is the best thing to use to help premature ejaculation and an oversensitive head of the penis. I see myself having a problem with this. The head of my penis is really sensitive during sex and/or foreplay which makes me ejaculate easily and lose my hard on…I am not embarrassed by this…just a little frustrated. I would appreciate any advice you could give me.

~ Mr. Concerned, Oregon USA ~

Although the reasons vary from psychological to physical, all of them can be overcome with a few physical tricks – no need for you to keep thinking about un-sexy things during sex!

4 Ways to Easily Stop Yourself from Cumming Too Soon

• Masturbate More – I know it may sounds like an odd suggestion at first, but if you become aroused easily and don’t have any difficulty getting an erection, then this may be the only solution you need. By making yourself orgasm hours before you plan on having sex with your partner, you’ll decrease your physical excitement, decrease the sensitivity to your penis for a short while, and will probably be able to keep your next erection for longer than you did the first time (when you masturbated). Some men masturbate in the morning if they are likely to have sex that night. Think of it as “taking the edge off.”

• Practice Bringing Yourself Almost to Orgasm and Then Stopping, Repeatedly – This is like training your body to endure an intercourse marathon. Masturbate until you feel almost to that “point of no return” and then stop all stimulation completely and wait for your body to calm down again. If you don’t think this is possible, another technique is to hold the base of the penis firmly and squeeze with one hand while gently pulling your testicles downward (away from your body) with the other once you begin to feel that “Holy crap I’m going to cum!” sensation. After you’ve successfully backed away from your orgasm, continue with more stimulation until almost reaching orgasm again, and repeat the above process. Practiced regularly this should make you more aware of your own arousal and allow you more control over it during actual lovemaking.

• Use a Desensitizing Gel or Lube – In all honesty, most of the magic cream and gels out there are no more than regular lotion repackaged and sold for a lot more than they’re worth. However, there are a few that really do what they claim to do – desensitize your penis just enough to have satisfyingly long sex. The key to picking out the ones that work is to read the packaging and look for something called “benzocaine.” This is the active ingredient that will numb the surface nerves of your penis for about 10 and 30 minutes. Benzocaine is the exact same thing that makes other topical pain killers work, like Orajel for your gums. The only difference is the dosage.** Warning: Don’t use Orajel or any other product that has benzocaine in it on your penis instead of a product made for your penis just to be cheap! You don’t want to do anything that’ll permanently damage those glorious little penis nerves, do you?!** One product that actually does work is called Not Yet Gel. It contains 7.5% benzocaine and is perfectly safe to use. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Not Yet Gel, so this is probably your best bet.

• Use a Cock Ring – (I can hear the gasps now!) Seriously, try using a cock ring around the base of your penis once you are erect. Just like I told you to hold and press the base of your penis in the earlier masturbation exercise, cock rings do the work for you. Once you find one that fits correctly, not too snugly your penis turns purple but snug enough to keep the blood pretty constricted, these gizmos work quite well at prolonging sex. Sure, they may look a little strange at first, but once you’re heavily “involved” no one’s going to remember it’s even there…Unless you have one of those rings that comes with a nifty clit-vibe which brings together the best of both world in my opinion – The rings stops him from cumming too soon and the vibe encourages her to cum as many times as possible. Nice, huh?

If you try all of the above suggestions and none of them work, then ask your doctor about it. However they may say you don’t really have a premature ejaculation problem since the “normal” range of time between penetration and ejaculation begins at 1.5 minutes!

Good Luck and leave a comment if you have a tip that wasn’t mentioned here, or if any of these have worked for you in the past!

You May Be Interested In:

• Not Yet! Gel – Desensitizing Penis Creams That Actually Works
  
• 5 Star Cock Ring and Vibrating Egg
• Custom Grip Erection Ring with Clit Vibe
• Fully Adjustable Erection Keeper
• Better Sex Audio & eBook Guides

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This post is bleedingly sponsored by: The Curse: Confronting the Last Unmentionable Taboo: Menstruation!
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According to the adult industry videos depicting rape, gang-bangs, and other arguably misogynistic porn is A-OK, but a little menstrual blood? Well, that just crosses the line from innocent fun to really sleazy filth! It seems even within an industry that claims to be edgy and sexually open-minded the larger cultural taboo of menstruation-as-dirty still shocks the delicate sensibilities of many pornographers.

Enter “Furry Girl” – a self proclaimed feminist indie pornographer who is not afraid to challenge conventional morality. From the front page of her site, aptly named Erotic Red, she outlines her bold naturalistic philosophy:

“Erotic Red stands as an proud outpost of sense and sensuality in a world of internet porn gone terribly crappy. We’re not here to sell menstruation as a gross-out fetish, but to show that it is a healthy, interesting, and fun part of the lives of all female-bodied folk. We’re happy to shake up silly old taboos and encourage every woman to love her body and sexuality- every day of the month.”

And what self-accepting woman wouldn’t agree with these simple but provocative statements? Every healthy woman, as well as every man who’s in love with a woman of reproductive age must “deal” with the reality of monthly menstruation, and how to incorporate, or not to incorporate, bleeding into their sexual lives.

Thankfully Erotic Red tackles this issue head on, without reservation or embarrassment. Sure menstruation may not “turn you on” per se, but at the same time, why should it turn you off so much? Why is it considered “gross” enough to fall under the “extreme porn” category? Why should something so natural and healthy be thought of as “twisted”?

So in her own words, here’s what the admirable Furry Girl had to say about her mini-crusade to drag menstruation out of its ridiculously shameful hiding place…

What was it that first prompted you to start a porn site about menstruation?

I had been doing a small amateur web site featuring just myself, FurryGirl.com, and I wanted to include menstruation content. To me, that seemed really natural- “home made porn” seemed like it should be inclusive of all days of the month. But, I found that period stuff was extremely taboo, and that I couldn’t casually throw in some blood masturbation here and there. I started Erotic Red as a multi-model site because I wanted a place where other models like myself could put their red stuff when they weren’t allowed to have it elsewhere.

What’s your personal philosophy toward porn?

I approach porn with a sex-positive, fun, and political attitude. I like challenging the mainstream hetero-normative porno standards, but I’m also not against mainstream porn in the way that some indie pornographers are. I just prefer my own work and the type of people and erotic imagery you’ll find on my web sites.

How long have you been making porn, and why do keep doing it?

I’ve been involved in porn for over 5 years, and it’s an industry I love, overall, even when I’m pissed off at some aspect of it. (And I often am.) More than anything, I want porn to be better, because there’s so much untapped potential to create better erotic material.

Was it difficult setting up Erotic Red? For example, did you have trouble finding an internet host that would allow your content?

The hosting part was not an issue. Finding a credit card processor was. Most third party payment processors, as well as most merchant banks, don’t want anything to do with “extreme” porn, including menstruation. I would have had an easier time finding a biller if the site featured people raping animals. It’s really depressing that the adult industry nods its head at any kind of weird shit that anyone can dream up, including eating shit, but everyone pretends menstruation does not exist.

I’d imagine you must receive all sorts of interesting feedback, both supportive and critical, from the public. Is that true?

It’s a mixed bag. Many people are incredibly repulsed by menstruation, whether it’s in an erotic context or just as a fact of life. But for other people who are body-positive and pro porn, I’ve gotten some amazingly kind letters from viewers who were so happy to find the site and see something that takes on such a big cultural taboo.

The only very icy reception I’ve gotten is from other adult webmasters. There’s been this pervasive fear during the Bush administration that we’re all just a small step away from being put out of business, so “extreme” ventures like my own are seen by some as a reason the government is more likely to come after all of us. (Although, there has never been a menstruation-related obscenity case yet.)

Are the reactions different from men than from women?

I’d guess that the responses, both good and bad, have been quite evenly divided between men and women.

I know you’re very busy and have to run, but can you quickly share with us what the sexiest thing someone has ever said to you is?

Although it’s not the “sexiest” per se, I’ll never forget when a cashier once told me I had very sexy feet. It was so startling, but not in a bad way. I’ve had many men online tell me I had sexy feet, or a fuckable ass, or something, but I don’t really have people hit on me often offline, especially not in relatively obscure ways like being noticed by a foot fetishist in public!

Thank you so much Furry Girl for that little glimpse into the reasons for Erotic Red‘s existence! I’m sure many women and men out there greatly appreciate and feel relieved by your efforts to literally strip away the unnecessary taboos which continue to plague menstruation.

It’s certainly a pervasive issue, and by creating a safe, open space where sexuality and menstruation can be talked about as well as seen is a truly beautiful endeavor. We wish you the best of luck with Erotic Red!

You May Be Interested In:

• The Curse: Confronting the Last Unmentionable Taboo: Menstruation
• Blood Relations: Menstruation and the Origins of Culture
• Best Fetish Erotica
• Fetish 101
• Down and Dirty Sex Secrets

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What is Erotic Asphyxiation?

It goes by many names – breath play, erotic asphyxiation, auto-erotic asphyxiation (if you’re doing this by yourself) – and simply “Hold your breath until I say stop, Hunny!”

But no matter what you call it or how you do it the effects are the same. By intentionally cutting off oxygen to your brain you’re seemingly heightening your sexual sensations and making your orgasm that much more intense. Yes, you may literally see stars.

This post is sleepily sponsored by: Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving
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Aaaahh, Bedtime. The best part of your day. Half-naked in your comfortable PJs, cuddling between your crisp clean sheets, over-sized blankets, and fluffy white pillows. Finally a moment of pure relaxation in the stress storm that is your life.

And as your achy muscles slowly turn into blissful mush, you close your eyes and

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Turns out men think women who are “in heat” (ovulating and at the peak of their fertility cycles) are worth double what menstruating women (at the lowest point of their fertility cycles) are worth!

A new study conducted by evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller from the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque found that men

This post is sumptuously sponsored by: Pierre Silber – Sexy costumes, lingerie, and shoes!
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If you’re like most people, one of the most exciting parts of having sex is hearing your partner moan, sigh, growl, or talk “dirty” during those few moments of uninhibited abandon. Now wouldn’t it be nice to hear those vibrant and delicious sounds while you were masturbating? Wouldn’t it drive you over the edge with memories of their kisses, tastes, nibbles?