“A Unique EMT Response….”

» Posted in Blog, Humor & More | 2 comments

(due to the medical nature of the story, as well as privacy issues, names will not be included)

True story:

It was the summer of 1999 and I was an EMT with the Naval Hospital in Lemoore, California when we received a call for an emergency at a residence on base calling to report a “horrible accident” and to expedite our arrival. We had no idea what to expect. That’s part of the job. But this…went a little past my experiences.

When we approached the home there was no indication that anyone was there but following protocol we knocked on the door and awaited a response. After the second knock we requested fire and police assistance to gain entry to the home in question.

When we did gain entrance we were escorted to the master bedroom where the scene unfolded before our eyes just like this: a very attractive blonde woman, mid 20’s, (I thought I may have recognized her) completely nude except for the sheets covering her chest and lower back.

She looked to be more embarrassed then distressed. Her concern was mainly for the man she was straddling. He was in his late 40’s, on his back, gripping the sheets as if they were the only things keeping him alive.

His face was bright red and he was sweating buckets. (Imagine a weight lifter dead lifting more then he can handle) The pillow beneath his head was soaked. My paramedic, after a few brief questions and a quick reassurance to the man in extreme pain, decided to transport them just as they were, in that same position. The man yelled at every stop, turn and bump in the road.

At the hospital they were able to find out what exactly had happened and treat it. During their sexcapade she had shifted her hips too sharply and had caused lateral bending of the markedly thinned and stiff tunica albuginea (white covering) resulting in the Fracturing of his Penis.

IN short: she bent Mr. Happy like a maxed-out garden hose. And with nowhere for the in-flow of blood to go he swelled up just like a tennis ball inside her and couldn’t pull himself out.

But wait…there’s more.

Small, remote military bases like the one aforementioned are a lot like small towns. And most often the background of a story or situation comes out not from the medical community but from the surrounding community. So it was interesting to discover a few weeks later that Mr. Fracture’s acrobatic partner wasn’t Mrs. Fracture.

Longest family visiting hour EVER…..

 

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