Hit the Floor All You Poly-People

» Posted in Blog, Relationships, Sex & Culture | 2 comments

*Clears throat*

Excuse me but I was wondering….What is Polyamory? What is a Swinger?What’s a Kitten Pile? A Cuddle-In? What’s the difference between a four (or more)some and an orgy? Why are threesomes between two women and one man (FMF) “cooler” then two men sharing one woman(MFM) in between? My head’s spinning already. (Ok, and I’m a little turned on, sue me!)

 

Most of you readers between 35 and 45 haven’t really done too much of this. And I think there’s a lot of catching up to do. (Regarding the threesome question above, I believe the machismo factor may have a bit to do with the latter debate.)

But we’re getting off the subject. I notice that more and more people are choosing to define what feels good (and what’s good for them) rather than accepting  “The Norm” without question. I won’t hit you with tons of polls pregnant with percentage-laden statistics. (who trusts them anyway?)

Today I’m discussing where sex ends and Polyamory begins. What sets Poly apart from any other socially engaged sexual activity? Webster’s defines polyamory as : the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time. But I fail to see how precise that definition truly is. Ask anyone who’s been cheated on and they may not exactly refer to it as amorous or even agreed upon.

Dictionary.com defines it as: participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships. A little closer I think but not quite there. So what is polyamory? I believe a more accurate description would be: the state or practice of being romantically involved with more than one other person in a consensual (potentially communal) relationship.

The idea being that either one or both persons in a relationship feel that they have the ability as well as the emotional capacity to love more than just the person they’re in love with now. I further believe it’s possible for one or the other partner to feel that, although they do not think they share the other’s capacity for the love of many partners, they do have the capacity to understand the other’s need to.

When I say “understand the other partner’s need to” love others, I refer to a deeper understanding of not just the human spirit and how it relates to your poly partner in general but also a deeper knowledge and understanding of your own feelings and limits in relation to your polyamorous situation.

If you grew up in America chances are you were raised Christian. You were given a guideline early on of what is and isn’t permissible activity. You learned quickly what’s expected and accepted. But laws, if given enough time, will always seek specific interpretation. As with the human spirit this can have its benefits as well as its pitfalls. When you specialize there’s often an element of limitation.

With some people limitation negates necessity to think outside of their environment and experiences. It’s a comfort. For others restriction is a soul withering event. I believe Polyamory has the potential to be safely restrictive as well as freely liberating.

What do you think about all of this?

• Is it really so dangerous to explore and discover?
• Can relationships that are Open or containing Multiple Members do more for the soul and well-being than one partner?
• Or is this a horrible experiment shunned by less advanced cultures than ours for a reason?

 

****   Next time we’ll go into detail regarding just how such a seemingly confusing paradox can happily exist.  ****