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Is After-Sex Cuddling Necessary for Both Men and Women?
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Aaahhh, that blissful moment is finally here…The urgency of mating is over. The hectic panting, moaning, and fluid gyrating of your peaking lusts have past, and you’re both basking in the healthful glow of each other’s perspiration and internal concoctions of endorphin-induced euphoria. You sigh happily and roll onto your side, ready to scoop your lover up into a tender embrace, wanting to wrap your adoration and appreciation for them into one incredibly long kiss…
But as you reach out to cuddle their warm supple body against yours, instead of connecting with the delicious soft flesh you’re expecting, your hand hits the hard, cold, empty mattress beside you. Startled, you blink away the romantic fog from your eyes just in time to see your half-way-dressed lover kick the bathroom door closed behind them.
The loudness of the door’s thud whips you right back to reality. Your sexual buzz quickly disappears, and you’re left frowning and feeling utterly disgruntled with your apparently unemotional sex partner when you should be at the peak of relational contentment. How obnoxious.
The only bright side to this scenario (at least I suppose it’s a bright side) is that at one point or another, everyone has experienced that exact moment. Stereotypically the person left angrily lying on the bed has been the woman, but either that stereotype has always been wrong, or it’s in the process of changing. According to S.S.’s most recent poll results both men and women believe cuddling after sex is a very necessary and very important part of respectful sexual etiquette.
Is After-Sex Cuddling Necessary? YES!
Out of a whopping 47 respondents, 29 men and 10 women agreed cuddling after intercourse was a must, while only 5 men and 4 women said it was not. So not only are you S.S. readers a spankingly-kinky bunch, but you’re also lovingly cute with your after sex cuddles! Aaaaawww!
Do These Results Surprise You?
I’ll admit, they surprised me. I was expecting more women to say yes and more men to say no. In fact, I was expecting more people in general to say no, regardless of their sex. However in this case, I was very happy to be wrong! It seems cuddling is something almost everyone enjoys, including men - despite the amount of media hype trying to say otherwise. (I was sort of hoping for a fight on this issue, but since everyone here takes the time to enjoy their warm-fuzzies, I guess a big group hug will have to do…)
What About Those Non-Cuddlers Out There?
Just because you don’t think cuddling is a necessity doesn’t mean you’re heartless or cruel. Trust me, I was one of those four women who voted No! To me, and probably to most of you other non-cuddlers, snuggling after sex is nice sometimes, but just not every time. I don’t really feel shunned when my lover gets up right away, and I don’t think twice about moving right along with my day once sex has come to an explosive conclusion for both of us.
However, I do understand that for many people jumping up and putting my clothes back on without even a parting kiss would seem a bit harsh in a “Got what I needed from you so I’m leaving now!” kind of way. Because of this it’s very important for those of you non-cuddlers out there to remember to give your lovers the cuddle time they need to feel fulfilled. This is particularly true when you have a new lover who doesn’t yet understand your lack of affection does not mean you’re rejecting them, or worse, don’t love them.
And For the Statistic Geeks Out There - (Everyone Else Just Skip This Crap):
I performed a quick Sum 2 Var Proportion Test using Excel to equalize the proportion of men and women voters to see if there really was a significant difference between the cuddle/no-cuddle answers for men verses women. Turns out even at the strictest significance level of .01 (99%) the null hypotheses failed to be rejected. It seems both men and women are just as likely to be cuddlers according to this, admittedly small, sample! (This was also backed up using a confidence interval test as well! (-0.209 < p < 0.887) Cool, huh?)
Thank You My Sexy-licious Readers!
As always, enormous Thank You’s to everyone who took the time to vote in this poll! I’d stay for the cuddle-fest that’s sure to ensue after such a gushy display of gratitude, but I voted “No!” remember? As for the rest of you, enjoy the love!
Fun Things to Compliment Your Romantic, Cuddly Side:
- Romantic Travel Kit - An Easy Way to Bring the Sensuality with You
- Rose Petals, Chocolate Massages, Scented Bubble Bath…What More Could a Girl Ask For?
- Perfect Love Letters - Helping You Say Exactly How You Feel
- Romantic Printables - Love Coupons, etc. Perfect for Those Impromptu Evenings!
- 101 Nights of Grrreat Romance
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speaksexy @ November 12, 2007
Cuddling is a MUST ! It is the deesert on the appetizer/entree of any kind of sex, whether it is wild monkey or tender love-making…
With it, you feel totally complete physically as well as emotionally. Without it, the intimacy and the connection is ruined, and it makes the sex see mediocre.
I was one of the women who said cuddling ISN’T necessary. I think it’s just me and my weird ways. After sex, I usually just want to clean up, brush the tangles out of my hair and get on with whatever is next. Now there are times, after hours of lovemaking, when I just want to curl up in my husband’s arms and bask in the glow of the whole thing. But in many ways, I’m a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of girl!
Hey Rose! It’s been a long time since my last comment, so - sorry. I’m still a devoted fan of your blog and daily reader.
The poll was great and I was waiting to read through the comments. The idea of after-sex cuddling is mostly a female issue, because men are less emotional about such things. So, although being a woman, for me after-sex cuddling is not always necessary and I’m totally agree with Kitty. Sex itself shows everything, and if you’re not cuddled after it - it doesn’t mean you’re not appreciated and loved.
Well, now going to vote on your new lusty poll (as a great secret - my vote will be NO)
Loving Annie - Good for you, sticking up for all the cuddlers! You are in the majority, even among men. (Surprise!) So enjoy your affectionate snuggles. If it’s the ending that makes sex perfect for you, then I wish all the best in cuddles!
Kitty - I’m with you all the way on this one. By the time I’ve taken a few deep breaths after that final “O” I’m usually almost dressed. Luckily my husband is the same way, so neither of us ever feel slighted. But there are those few times when cuddling at the end is just blissful…
Nellioness - Always a pleasure to see your name pop up! I thought it would be a mostly female issue too, but so many more men said Yes they loved cuddling than those who said No in this poll. It seems the male S.S. readers are a wonderfully affectionate bunch. I think sex itself shows everything too.
Thanks you women for the great and varied responses!
But where are all the men who voted? You guys are awfully shy all of a sudden.