Is Sexual Liberation Destroying Your Libido?

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‘Flesh, Flesh Everywhere, But Oddly I Don’t Care!’

It’s true. We live in a very sexually liberated time. Almost everywhere we look – billboards, magazines, websites – naked people abound. In fact, it’s hard to go an hour without seeing at least one sexually provocative image. Now ask yourself, how many of those images turn you on? I mean really arouse you to the point where your heart does a little flutter and your mouth suddenly goes dry? (Sure, you may think “Oh, she/he’s kinda hot” but that’s not what I mean by turned-on.)

If you’re like most people, you probably ignore the vast majority of these images. You just keep on walking or flipping the pages. Even worse, you may be so used to seeing super-shiny thong-clad bodies floating around that they no longer catch your attention at all! What exactly does that say about your ability to become sexually excited?

More People Report Arousal-Related Sexual Dysfunctions Now Than Ever Before

For being so sexually open, our culture seems to be having a lot of difficulty keeping itself titillated.

The root of this “problem” may simply be more people are willing to report arousal difficulties to the medical profession, which means the number of people suffering from these dysfunctions may not be at peak levels at all. The only difference between the amount of dysfunctions now and the amount of dysfunctions in the past is the number of reported cases.

Another explanation is that because our culture places so many sexual expectations upon individuals (you should always be willing to have sex, you should have sex frequently, sex should continue throughout your lifetime, etc.) those who are not living up to these ideals in their own minds are reporting dysfunctions that may not really exist. Just because you’re not horny every ten minutes like they are in the movies does not necessarily mean you have an arousal dysfunction. The range of “normal” arousal is great and varies depending upon age, family situation, lifestyle, etc.

However, there is a third explanation to this general lack of arousability which is much more compelling to think about. What if the reason so many of us are having trouble getting excited is because we no longer view the naked human form as sexy?

Nudity Habituation and the Case for Modesty

Much like our desensitization to violence in the news (…”four people were killed today…No one really cares…”) we may, as a whole, have grown desensitized to nudity and sexually explicit images. Essentially naked girls with perfect breasts and ultra-sculpted male torsos just don’t “do it” for us anymore because we see them too often.

When something in our environment is presented to us over and over again we “habituate” to the stimulus until eventually it no longer generates a response from us at all. It makes sense when you think about it. For example, say you have a clock that chimes every hour in your living room.

When you first put it there you’ll probably notice the chiming every single hour for the first few days. After a while though the chiming will become general background noise and will no longer register in your conscious thoughts. The chime has become a habitual part of your environment that you naturally “tune-out” as unimportant.

Well, thanks to our sexually liberated culture we may have developed the unfortunate ability to tune-out naked people too!

Acting Conservatively Might Bring Back that “Spark”

In a strange twist of sexual fate, one way to jump start your libido may be for your partner to start dressing and acting more conservatively. In her book, A Return to Modesty, Wendy Shalit expounds upon the possible erotic virtues of prudery and chastity. She argues Western cultures, and particularly the United States, have dampened our sexual imaginations to the point of losing our ability to become excited at all.

Even the idea of a college co-ed wrestling team doesn’t seem to hold the sexual connotations that, in her opinion, it should. She recounts a time when she was made to feel “perverted” because she saw the sexual possibilities of such a scenario when everyone else saw it as a respectable form of exercise. One classmate remarked, “Does everything have to be sexual for you?” (p. 177) which made her wonder – Why wasn’t anything sexual to the so-called “liberated” anymore?

Although I strongly disagree with about 95% of Shalit’s religiously flavored and obviously conservative book, at least on this issue she makes a potentially useful point. It appears that in a society where sexuality is openly flaunted the nuances of eroticism are obliterated, and scenarios which once held an undeniable sexual charge fizzle out under the current politically correct sexes-are-indistinguishable regime.

Modesty May Be the Most Erotic Thing of All

If you think Shalit’s observations are correct and feel “covering up” might ironically lead to a more tantalizing sex life, why not give it a go? Instead of wearing those revealing teddies to bed, opt for a floor length silky night gown. Maybe act a little shyer than usual with your lover.

Don’t kiss in public. Let the tension build. You could also try introducing a playful formality into your relationship, like calling your man “Sir” or “Mister.” (I know this is used a lot in BDSM circles – and it seems to work very well as a major turn-on for everyone involved.)

If you want to be really naughty and subversive in today’s world, give “purity” a try.

You May Be Interested In:

• A Return To Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue
• 500 Love Making Tips & Secrets
• Sexual Satisfaction for the Christian Wife
• 1,000 Questions for Couples
• The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide

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