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Sex So Good You See Stars?! All About Erotic Asphyxiation
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What is Erotic Asphyxiation?
It goes by many names - breath play, erotic asphyxiation, auto-erotic asphyxiation (if you’re doing this by yourself) - and simply “Hold your breath until I say stop, Hunny!”
But no matter what you call it or how you do it the effects are the same. By intentionally cutting off oxygen to your brain you’re seemingly heightening your sexual sensations and making your orgasm that much more intense. Yes, you may literally see stars.
Is Erotic Asphyxiation Safe?
Is cutting off oxygen to your brain ever a good idea? Obviously the answer is No, but that doesn’t stop many people from attempting this kind of sex play. Among the various kinds of “odd” sexual acts this is, by far, one of the most dangerous.
In medical terms, lack of oxygen to any part of the body is called hypoxia. When the brain suffers from hypoxia neurons (brain cells) die. They die. I’m going to repeat that because it’s so important. When you cut off oxygen to your brain your brain cells die.
Depending on the severity, how long the oxygen deprivation occurs, a person can experience “poor judgment, memory loss, inattentiveness, and a decrease in motor coordination. In more severe cases, there can be permanent neurological deficits, coma, seizures, or death” (Answer.com). Unless you are one of the few who consider “death” to be an acceptable consequence of your favorite sexual activity, you probably want to stay away from strangling yourself and/or your partner.
If you’re not convinced that erotic asphyxiation is in fact as dangerous as I am making it out to be, you can find documented cases of people dying as a result of this here and here.
My Partner Holds Their Breath During Sex! Should I Be Worried?
Like everything, there are varying degrees of erotic asphyxiation. In fact many people naturally use breath play to increase the intensity of their orgasms without even realizing it. Have you ever noticed yourself or your lover holding your/their breath seconds before orgasm? Or maybe after your orgasms you feel the need to take in a huge breath of air just to “catch yourself”?
Well those are both very small indicators that you’ve likely unwittingly learned to deprive yourself of small amounts of oxygen just before orgasming. If this is something you do, don’t worry about it! Holding your breath for five, ten, fifteen seconds is not going to permanently damage you in any way. You probably hold it longer than that when you go swimming. As long as you allow yourself to take a breath when you really need to you’ll be just fine.
The difference between that and true erotic asphyxiation play is the person does not take that necessary breath, but instead pushes themselves to the point of almost passing out or passing out completely. There aren’t many sexual things that I would say no to under any circumstances, but this is one of them. Don’t do it!
Is There a Safer Way to Get That Orgasmic Rush?
Sure there is! You can safely experiment with any of these safe options.
Option One - Head Over the Side Position
One of the easiest ways to experience a mild “head rush” during sex is to position yourself on the edge of a bed with your head hung over the side. (Remember doing this sort of thing as a child?) As long as you and your partner are careful not to “thrust” yourselves completely off the bed, this is a rather safe position.
Plus, if you do begin to feel very light-headed or woozy you can just bring yourself back onto the bed and continue. A lot of people, women especially, swear by this head-over-the-side position because it does make an orgasm seem that much stronger and the men-on-top tend to enjoy the breast-y view.
Option Two - Holding Your Breath on Purpose
If you don’t use any equipment that takes your ability to breath away (such as a plastic bag) and you are not being strangled by something (a belt) or someone (your lover), then holding your breath on purpose all on your own should not be a very big deal if it makes your sexual experience more poignant. Just use you common sense and your body will let you know when it is definitely time to breath again.
Option Three - Give Your Partner SOME Control
If you’d like your partner to be more involved in your breath play than Option Two allows, then why not let him/her verbally tell you when you can and can’t breath? Notice I said Verbally. This does not mean your partner should strangle you in order to control your breathing. It simply means that they can give you an “order” of when to hold your breath. Of course it is your body and you should always follow your own body’s orders before your partner’s in this particular situation. So even if your partner has not told you to take a breath but your body is screaming that it needs air - Obey your body! It’s too dangerous not to.
Although the above options are very “tame” in comparison to what “real” erotic asphyxiators do and probably don’t achieve the same levels of intensity, they are safe and can be easily incorporated with in your own sex life.
Personally I’d rather have many “little star” orgasms, than have one - and only one - “big star.”
You May Be Interested In:
- The Breathless Orgasm: A Lovemap Biography of Asphyxiophilia
- Obsession
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speaksexy @ October 14, 2007
Wow-wow-wow Rose!
Great post, educative, and very helpful for some “breath-players” out there. I know people who unwittingly stop breathing for seconds before orgasm. Well, sometimes it happens to me as well (particularly, before a very intense orgasm).
Important ideas you’ve mentioned and the links about people dying.
In chase of pleasure we often forget about our safety & health.
Nelli - Thanks for the “wow!” This really is one of those topics that need full disclaimers.
I’m also one of those people who naturally hold my breath before orgasming, so I know what you mean. I didn’t really notice it until one night I was taking longer to actually cum than expected and had to let the breath out before orgasm - which ended up being less intense that I was used to. I realized then that every time I start to feel that “here it comes” feeling I stop breathing naturally as part of the build-up. My guess is a lot of people do this too but never consider it “breath play” since it just happens!