Anal Bleaching, All the Cool Kids are Doing It!

What is Sexy?, Tips and Tricks, The Sexual Body

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And by Cool Kids I mean porn stars, strippers, celebrities, and your kinky next door neighbor. Until a few days ago I’d never heard of anal bleaching. Apparently I’ve been completely missing this, um, “interesting” personal care trend. It’s even been mentioned in big time women’s magazines like Marie Claire. Since anal shaving and waxing are regular beauty Musts in today’s glamorous world, I guess this is the logical next step.

But what exactly is anal bleaching?

For those of you who’ve been living under a rock like I have, the Urban Dictionary explains anal bleaching as a Cosmetic Technique:

“Whereby strong bleaching solutions like hydroquinones are used to lighten the anal area. This procedure is employed by strippers, body builders, actors and actresses. Seems over time, the butticular area becomes darker (some say it’s due to dark foods like coffee, others speculate it’s due to staining from the bilirubin content in feces.) Either way, those who aspire to wear butt floss as swimwear or do pole dancing seem to feel a lighter sphincter will improve their image.”

Huh, so it’s precisely as it sounds. We should all aspire for anuses that are perfectly blended into the surrounding color of our buttocks skin, or slightly pinker for added emphasis. I don’t know about you, but I’m very happy to have something as important as this to worry about! Phew! My life was getting a little too stress-free for my liking.

What Causes the “Offensive” Anal Discoloration in the First Place?

This is point of contention between those who want to position anal bleaching as a health and hygiene issue verses those who want to promote it as a cosmetic beauty treatment. On the Health side, reasons include anal staining due to excessive coffee and soda drinking, as well as poor wiping techniques that smears your you-know-what around instead of actually wiping it away. After years of poor eating habits and bad wiping, the skin around the anus becomes darker. A quick solution is to bleach away the damage, just like we bleach away stains on our teeth (even though it’s not actually bleach but a heavy peroxide-based cleaning gel). Once that is accomplished, special “wipes” can be used to keep your anus its new perfect color. Oddly these “special wipes” look just like ordinary “baby wipes” repackaged and sold for a lot more, but who am I to judge?

On the Beauty Treatment side, the main reason given for anal discoloration is genetic. Some people simply have more pigment in that area than others. Personally, I’m on this side of the debate - if we can call it a debate. Just like some people have dark nipples and labia while others have light, some people have dark anuses and some people don’t. It seems those who “don’t” are winning the underground anal beauty war at the moment…

Where is Everyone Getting These Anal Bleaches?

Upscale salons and spas are starting to offer this treatment more and more. Sure, you have to know where to look and be willing to pay half your yearly income to acquire a wonderful porn-style anus, but it’s worth it!

And if you’re too embarrassed to go to a salon or spa for this very personal treatment, you can do it by yourself in the comfort of your own home. You have to love the entrepreneurial spirit surrounding this whole thing. Do a quick Google search and you’ll find lots of e-shops willing to provide you with all your anal bleaching needs. There’s ShopInPrivate.com and even eBay to help you out! (And yes, they sell the Very-Special-Wipes too!)

My Not-So-Humble thought on Anal Bleaching…

Call me crazy, but bending over in front of a mirror and looking between my ass cheeks is not something I do on a regular basis. Sure I give it a check every once in a while, and I’ll even go so far as making sure it’s silky smooth for those special occasions or when I want to have an extra good time that night…But bleaching?! Thanks but no thanks, I’ll keep my anus what ever color my genetics decided it should be.

And for the record, if my sex partner actually cared enough about the color of my ass to have it negatively affect our sex life, I’d seriously consider finding a more open-minded and loving person to play with. “Photoshop” does not make for good sex anyway.

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speaksexy @ September 13, 2007