To Orgasm or Not To Orgasm!

» Posted in Blog, Orgasms, The Sexual Body | 370 comments

The first sexual experience with a new partner is always a tricky time. Unfailingly questions arise to make us feel nervous or jittery, usually helping to add to the excitement of the moment. Questions like; What will this mean? Should we do it right now? Will he/she be good in bed? Will I be good in bed? And while these are all concerns that most men and women share, there is one question in particular that seems to be specifically female oriented…Will I have an orgasm?!

For men, the answer almost goes without saying, “Yes I will.” And if his orgasm could talk it would usually say something to the affect of, “This now concludes our sexual entertainment for this evening, thank you very much, and I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride!” However for women, even in today’s world of Prime Time Orgasms, the answer to this question continues to be, “Probably Not!” In fact, according to an article recently published by CNN, 70% of all intercourse sessions end WITHOUT the woman experiencing the Big O at all! The reasons for not having an orgasm are numerous, a few being; the majority of women can not physically achieve orgasm based on penetration alone (regardless or what TV shows or Porn say!), in most cases it takes longer for her to climax, and it is generally acceptable for sex to end when he orgasms. Now, although these are all seemingly legitimate reasons for this contemptible lack of female gratification, my all time favorite reason behind this 70% figure is that apparently for many women the orgasm is not the goal, or even the best part, of the sexual experience. I just have one thing to say to these women…WHAT?! What women are they asking?! Have these women ever had an orgasm?! Have they been so brainwashed to believe that for women sex should be purely about emotional connection that they’ve given up fighting for their own rights to physical nirvana? Worse yet, I ask, exactly who made the rule that sex ends when he orgasms instead of me, and why would I ever acquiesce to this? I find it shocking that despite the fact that feminist have been arguing for women to take control of their own sexual pleasure for at least the past 30 years, as of today, 70% still have not listened. Now, before anyone goes a little crazy on me, I do agree there is more to sex than just having an orgasm. Of course the emotional connection is important, even if it is just a one-night romp, and of course the kissing, petting, yadda-yadda is wonderful in itself…but please don’t try to convince me, that for some magical reason, women don’t like experiencing orgasms just as much, if not more so (yes, the multiples!), than do men.

So, my big question today is…Women, do you orgasm during sex? Why or why not? Men, do you encourage your partner(s) to orgasm, or does sex end when you climax? (I do realize that this post mostly applies to heterosexual couples…)