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Sex During Menstruation…Drs agree it is perfectly healthy, but is it pleasant?
Relationships, The Sexual Body
Sticky and Messy, or Lubed and Ready? It seems to me that there is no middle ground for this issue; either you do it or you don’t. Seeing as how every relationship involving at least one reproductive woman will have to decide on how to negotiate this monthly phenomena, I would assume it would be a very readily talked about topic among couples.
However, I find that sex during menstruation, and menstruation in general, is a conversation very readily avoided by everyone involved. Women still consider it a “woman’s thing” of which only women talk about to other women, and then only rarely at that. Men tend to avoid the topic like the plague, often letting well enough alone or cringing at the very thought that their usual object of worship is, for about five days a month, a volcano from hell.
Yet even with all of this unease on both sides, some form of agreement, whether verbal or tacit, must be made about intercourse. Will all sexual contact cease? Will only heavy petting be allowed? Is it always up to the menstruating woman to decide how far things go? Will she verbally inform her partner that her period has started and ended, or will he/she have to find out by poking through the bathroom wastebasket for evidence like some twisted detective?!
I opt for the open communication option…If my partner was too squeamish to deal with a little natural blood every month, I’d have to seriously rethink where he fell on the maturity meter. If we couldn’t talk frankly about something as mundane as a period, what would happen when a really hard or sensitive topic came up…
Anyway, back to the pleasantness question. This basically boils down to how dirty and/or messy you think sex could be while still having fun. Of course there is a little extra equipment necessary, namely a towel, and a lot more clean-up time after, but there are perks as well. For many women hormonal changes cause two distinct peaks in their natural arousal levels, during ovulation (roughly mid-cycle as you already know, right?) AND during menstruation (this peak is often not mentioned).
So what does this mean? Menstruating women tend to be horny, and many also report that they have stronger sexual responses, such as more intense orgasms, during this time. So, for those who do opt to dive in regardless of everything else, congratulations! You are probably having great sex while others are suffering through a week of abstention every month. However, we all have our boundaries that must be respected, so for those men and women who feel blood and sex do not mix under any circumstances, don’t feel badly about telling your partner NO. In fact, there are many ways of being intimate during this time without intercourse. For some creative ideas from a man’s perspective, click here.
As a bit of a side note, there are a lot of people who get TURNED ON BY MENSTRUATION, call it a fetish if you will. For those of you who fall into this category, you know who you are and you are not alone, don’t be shy about telling your partner…you never know, you may be pleasantly surprised by their reaction (very horny during this time, remember?!). It might lead to a whole world of sticky opportunities.
My Question; How do you negotiate your own sexuality with your partner during her/your periods? Hints, open talks, etc.? Do you have sex or don’t you? Does it turn you on, off, neutral? Thanks in advance for your responses!
You May Be Interested In:
- The Curse: Confronting the Last Unmentionable Taboo: Menstruation
- She’s On Top
- Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm
- Red Hot Erotica
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- Naturally Bloody Sex - An Interview with “Furry Girl,” the Internet’s Most Infamous Feminist Pornographer
- Stereotypes…Really? Still?
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speaksexy @ December 2, 2006
Great post, and great site! Sex while menstruating? I’m hot and cold with this. My husband has no problem having sex, even oral sex, with me during my period. It isn’t always my favorite thing. I usually feel a little “swampy” for lack of a better word and not always at my sexiest when I have my period. But having a mind-blowing orgasm makes all the aches and pains associated with my period some how disappear, so that’s a good thing. I guess as long as both people are prepared for a little bit of a mess, it’s all good.
Hi Kitty! I’m happy you enjoyed this post. There aren’t a lot of men out there who are willing to have oral sex during their lovers period! Consider yourself lucky
I agree with you on that “swampy” and “unattractive” feeling. A lot of it has to do with hormones as we all know…
And your experience with orgasms relieving PMS symptoms is dead on. Turns out those orgasms really do help with cramping (by bringing more blood flow and oxygen to the uterus) and headaches (the endorphin rush). Thanks so much for your comment!
[…] as every man who’s in love with a woman of reproductive age must “deal” with the reality of monthly menstruation, and how to incorporate, or not to incorporate, bleeding into their sexual […]