Most requests for an introduction fail quietly. The contact doesn't say no, they just never quite get around to it, because the request as written made the ask harder than it needed to be. "Would you be willing to introduce me to Sam sometime" sounds polite but actually asks the contact to do the hardest part of the work themselves: figuring out why the introduction makes sense and composing a message that explains it. Most people, even well-intentioned ones, will let that sit in their inbox rather than do that extra thinking on your behalf.
Write the Message They'd Forward
The single most effective habit in requesting an introduction is drafting the actual forwardable paragraph yourself: two or three sentences explaining who you are, why you want to connect with the other person specifically, and what you're hoping to get from the conversation. Send that draft along with your ask: "if you're comfortable making the introduction, feel free to just forward this." This reduces the contact's job from composing something from scratch to a single click, which is the difference between an introduction that happens this week and one that never happens.
This overlaps with cold outreach conversations: in both cases, specificity about why you're reaching out to this particular person does more work than any amount of politeness in the phrasing.
Make the "Why This Person" Part Concrete
A vague reason, "I'd love to pick their brain," gives your contact nothing to anchor the introduction to and makes the ask feel like generic networking rather than a specific need. A concrete reason, "I'm trying to understand how they handled the transition from in-house to consulting, since I'm considering something similar," gives the contact language to use in the introduction itself and makes the recipient more likely to actually respond, because the ask is legible and bounded rather than open-ended.
Give an Easy Out
Explicitly telling your contact it's fine to say no, "no worries at all if this isn't the right moment or connection," lowers the social cost of declining and, counterintuitively, makes people more likely to follow through, because the request no longer feels like an obligation they can't easily decline. Without that out, some contacts avoid the whole situation by simply not responding, which is worse for the relationship than a clear no would have been.
Follow Up on the Introduction, Not Just the Ask
Once an introduction is made, the responsibility shifts to you to move the conversation forward promptly and to close the loop with the person who introduced you. A short note back, "really appreciated the intro, we're setting up time to talk next week," costs almost nothing and tells your contact the introduction was used well, which makes them more willing to make another one in the future. Introductions that go silent after being made are the most common reason people become more cautious about giving them.
Respect the Asymmetry of the Favor
An introduction costs your contact social capital even when it goes well: they're vouching for you, however lightly, to someone in their network. Treating the request as a small, casual thing, when it isn't necessarily small on the other end, tends to produce fewer introductions over time, not more. The people who get the most introductions over a career are usually the ones who treat each one as a genuine favor rather than a transaction they're owed.
Choose the Channel Based on How Well You Know the Contact
A quick message works fine with someone you talk to regularly. With a more distant contact, jumping straight into an introduction request without any other context can feel presumptuous, especially if you haven't spoken in a while. In that case, a brief note reconnecting first, even a sentence or two about what you've been working on, before making the ask in the same message or a short follow-up, tends to land better than an out-of-nowhere request from someone the contact hasn't heard from in a year or more.
Don't Ask the Same Contact for Too Many Introductions Too Often
A single well-placed introduction request is easy to say yes to. A pattern of frequent requests from the same person starts to feel like being used as a directory rather than valued as a relationship, even if each individual ask was reasonable on its own. Spacing requests out, and making sure the relationship includes other kinds of contact beyond asking for things, keeps a contact willing to help the next time you actually need it.