Masturbating Yourself to Sleep

Apparently most of you devilish S.S. readers don't give masturbating yourselves to sleep a second thought. In fact 45% of you said pleasuring yourself right before bed was your preferred time to masturbate.

» Posted in Blog, Masturbation, Poll Results | 510 comments

Masturbating Yourself to Sleep

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Aaaahh, Bedtime. The best part of your day. Half-naked in your comfortable PJs, cuddling between your crisp clean sheets, over-sized blankets, and fluffy white pillows. Finally a moment of pure relaxation in the stress storm that is your life.

And as your achy muscles slowly turn into blissful mush, you close your eyes and begin to drift in and out of dream world. Naturally your thoughts bounce from one meaningless thing to the next – the car has to be washed tomorrow, you stained your favorite tie this morning, your wife’s lips wrapped around your penis, the rent still needs to be paid, your wife’s lips wrapped around your penis while her tongue darts along the head, you need to buy milk, your wife’s lips wrapped around your penis while her tongue darts along the head and her breasts gently sway against your thighs as she moves her mouth seductively up and down your shaft…

Then WHAM. Before you know it the only visions left dancing around your naughty little head are sugar-plum fairies completely nude in your bed.

And instead of drifting further into unconsciousness like you were supposed to, you’ve accidentally managed to wake yourself right back “up.” Now you’re exhausted and horny. Congrats! But don’t feel too badly about your wayward lusts invading your only moments of peace, it happens to everyone. Or at least 45% of everyone….

The Most Popular Times and Places to Masturbate According to YOU

Apparently most of you devilish S.S. readers don’t give masturbating yourselves to sleep a second thought. In fact 45% of you said pleasuring yourself right before bed was your preferred time to masturbate. When you find yourselves in the above predicament I bet you let it linger, draw it out, revel in the truly salacious fantasies only semi-consciousness can bring. So what if you’re exhausted at work the next morning? Your secretly delicious time was well worth the consequences.

And speaking of work…

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An even hornier 35% of you admitted to enjoying a little self-servicing whenever opportunity knocked. That’s right, night or day, home or office – circumstances just don’t seem to matter to you! Give you a closed door and moment alone with your “thoughts” and you’ll be more than willing to crank out an orgasm or two. Is it the thrill of getting caught? The feeling of “doing something wrong” that floats your boat? Is being alone such a seldom occurrence that when it does happen the excitement is simply too much for you to keep your hands out of your pants?

What ever your reasons, you guys are really a spur-of-the-moment bunch! But I’d love to know – Are you this spontaneous with all your lovers, or just the most important one?

And finally, third in line for the Most Popular Masturbation Time was during your showers. 19% of you agreed the privacy and cleanliness aspects of the shower couldn’t be beat. Maybe it’s the steamy glass doors and pulsating shower heads that do it for you. Maybe it’s the slithering suds or the kinky shower gloves that push your buttons. All I know is you’re certain to be squeaky clean in all the right places.

Where Have All the Morning Masturbater’s Gone?

Oddly, none of you readers said masturbating when you woke up was your favorite time. I know lots of people who enjoy a good orgasm to start their day. Where are you all hiding? In the shower group perhaps? Speak up! We’re losing you!

As For Me

I agree with the Before Bed majority. I’ve always had an ‘over active’ imagination and since sexual thoughts are one of my favorites, it’s no wonder I often need a quickie to calm me down. Masturbation works like a natural sleeping pill every time. If you do have trouble falling asleep and haven’t already given it a try (somehow I doubt many of you reading this fall into that category!), I highly recommend it.

As always, Huge Thank Yous to Everyone who voted on last week’s poll! Without you, where would this article be? And if you missed it, don’t worry! We have new polls all the time – Go ahead and vote on the new one now before you forget!

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