Loading ...
Pornography: Is It Good or Bad for Relationships?
I thought I’d start us off with a topic that seems to get all sorts of mixed reactions; Pornography Use in Relationships. Leaving aside the more generic arguments against porn such as the degradation of women and such, some people claim that pornography is the very thing destroying their marriages, while others feel that it is just another useful tool in their creative toy box. Both sides of the argument are rather well known.
Basic Against It:
- Its use fosters feelings of guilt in the user and mistrust, anger, and inadequacy in the partner.
- It gives men in particular unreasonable expectations of women’s bodies and behaviors.
- It is cheating!
Basic For It:
- In circumstances when partners can not be together, it is an alternative to having sex with someone else (long distance relationships, during times when one partner is unable or unwilling to have sex such as after the birth of a child, etc.)
- It adds spice to a long-term couple’s hum-drum sexuality. It can generate new ideas or act as part of the foreplay when viewed together.
- It is not cheating!
Personally I enjoy pornography of all kinds, even being the feminist that I am! I think porn is a nice way of “breaking the ice” sometimes…Nothing says “I want to have sex now Honey!” as the cacophony of moans and slapping sounds that gently waft from the computer during those free 10 second movie clips! However, in all honesty I must say that when I am not involved in my husband’s porn excursions I do feel somewhat left out, and have even gone as far as feeling anger on occasion. But why?! Intellectually I have nothing against it…but emotionally there is a part of me that feels my husband’s sexuality belongs to me, and mine to him. So during his singular porn sessions, when he is viewing, thinking about, and getting excited by other women with me no where in his direct sensual world, it feels unpleasantly strange…like he is being sexual without me when I should be there in some way! On the flip side, I feel guilty watching porn without him. So, do I think viewing porn is cheating? No…but I understand that to some degree it does feel like it, especially during those times when both of us are not involved.
What do you think?!
Technorati Tags: creative toy, foreplay, getting excited, long distance relationships, mistrust, moans, porn, pornography, Relationships, sensual world, sexuality, sex now, toy box, unreasonable expectationsPssst Sexy, I know you're new here. Like the girls? Like the vids? Want some kinky advice or toys to play with? Stick around or subscribe if you like. I'm looking forward to getting to know you - intimately. See you around gorgeous. ;)
speaksexy @ November 30, 2006
Hey,
I think that Pornography is a wonderful thing for a relationship. It can really enhance your desire for your partner and make you a little naughty from time to time. It’s good to try new things, which is why pornography is a great addition to my ideas. If you do not like pornography, then you probably don’t have a very strong relationship to begin with.
Alex, I agree with everything except the last part of your post. I don’t think just because someone doesn’t like their partner looking at porn means they have a weak relationship! There are a lot of other issues involved with porn viewing. Maybe it makes the wife feel badly because she thinks he likes the fake porn girls better than her, or maybe he has cheated on her in the past and this may lead to him doing it again. There are so many reasons to not want your spouse looking at porn!
This topic is interesting. My sister views it as cheating, and her and her husband have harsh arguments over this. On the one hand, they talked about this at length before they ever got married and he knows without a doubt that she is against it, and he continues to view porn. On the other hand, they had a son 6 months ago, and I’m not sure they’ve had sex more than once between when they found out she was pregnant, and now. So… there are arguments for and against the both of them…
My husband and I watch porn together often. We’ll both also watch it sometimes when the other is out of town or something. We have a ‘toybox’ so to speak and if my husband is out of town, every day he’ll ask me “what did you watch and what did you use”… whether I did or not… lol.
Mari - Welcome to S.S.! I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.
Unfortunately your sister’s situation is a pretty common one, with one spouse enjoying porn and the other completely against it. I usually try to find a healthy compromise for couples like this, such as she “picks” the porn and they watch it together, etc. But your sister sounds like she’s against it on principle which makes the problem much more difficult.
On the other hand it sounds like you and your husband have a very open, experimental, and healthy sex life balance. Good for you! Not many couples can say that, so you should feel very proud of yourselves.